Relationships encompass every aspect of our lives, from work, school, friendships, significant others, children, neighbors, etc… As human beings we are naturally social creatures and have a need, yes an actual need, for social interaction. This makes it all the more important for us to figure out what part we play in our relationship struggles. If you have a pattern of difficult or unhealthy relationships it can be important to explore this in therapy. Often times we gravitate to what is familiar, even though familiarity does not equal healthy. As creatures of habit we often times will continue to choose unhealthy partners, as there is comfort in that sense of familiarity, which is often times mistaken for attraction. Working one-on-one with a therapist can help you to identify these patterns, how they originated, and work towards building more healthy intimate relationships.
Couples therapy is another way of exploring relationship issues while your partner is present in the therapy room. It’s a great way to get to the heart of the relationship issues and for your therapist to see in real time what is happening between the two of you that is leading to disconnect, miscommunication or what we like to call “missed opportunities for connection.” It can be extremely difficult to get past communication issues in a relationship on our own. Having a trained therapist look at your relationship as a non-judgmental, neutral party, can help you and your partner get to the real issues. Often times it can feel like you are your partner are speaking two different language, even though you may be saying the same thing, the other person is unable to understand that message in the way it is conveyed.
Your therapist can help improve your communication and improve the emotional connection. We use a lot of skill building to assist couples in communicating more effectively with one another while also looking at the attachment needs that are presenting themselves. We use Emotion Focused Therapy (EFT) skills to get to the heart of the matter, uncovering attachment wounds that have occurred and working on ways to get your partner to respond to those unmet needs.