For some people there can be a stigma or misunderstanding around couples therapy or couples therapy exercises. Some may think they are a failure for seeking outside help for their relationship. Others may think that their relationship must be headed for divorce because their partner has suggested couples counseling.
The truth is, when someone is seeking out couples counseling that means they care enough about their partner and the relationship to want to make things better. That is a good thing! Your partner asking you to go to couples counseling is essentially saying, “I care about you, I care about this relationship, I want to find ways we can continue to improve our relationship together.” Anything worth having is worth working for, right?
Couples Therapy Exercises Can Help Solve Relationship Issues
It’s inevitable for couples to get stuck along their journey, to have trouble with communication, to not see eye-to-eye; that is all very normal! It also makes sense that you need outside support to work through these things, otherwise you would have figured it out yourselves! Not to mention the time, energy and heartache that can be saved by seeking out a professional to help you navigate these struggles so that they don’t become worse and so that they do not repeat. The longer these issues go unresolved the harder it is to break these patterns. It is still possible to correct course, but the longer you wait, the more time and effort it will take to be able to get things back to where you want them.
Making Mental Health a Priority
Think of all the things we do to improve other aspects of our lives. We read books on business, parenting, diet, exercise. We listen to podcasts. We set goals in these areas. We talk about these things with friends/family. How often are we doing the same for our relationship? And why is our relationship not included in these efforts? It’s a good thing to ask ourselves considering that relationships are such an important part of our lives.
You have also likely found that in order to really commit to change it requires ongoing effort. The same holds true for relationships. Commit to the therapy process and commit to the skills you learn there. We find that it often requires weekly therapy sessions for at least 10-12 weeks to really dig into significant change and adjustment of patterns in a relationship. Attending therapy once/month (initially) is not going to get you the results that you want and deserve. After completing those 12 initial weekly sessions, then and only then, will monthly check-ins be more fruitful for you and your relationship.
There are so many times I have heard folks say “I tried therapy before and it didn’t work.” They go on to share how they saw a therapist “a few times” last year and didn’t get the results they wanted so they stopped going. That’s like saying, “I decided to diet a few days and it didn’t work so I gave up.” Therapy is a process, it’s an evolution of oneself, it takes time and commitment to get the results you want. Stick with it! And don’t hesitate to reach out to us to see how couples therapy exercises may benefit you and your relationship.