When anxiety flares up, it’s tempting to immediately jump into problem solving mode. What triggered this? What can I do? How do I make it stop?
Totally understandable—your brain wants relief. But here’s the reality: Trying to “fix” anxiety the moment it appears can actually make it stronger.
Why? Because the message underneath becomes:
“This feeling is bad. I shouldn’t be feeling this. I need to get rid of it.”
Your nervous system hears that as another threat. So instead of softening, it doubles down. That’s why mindfulness and specifically, compassionate awareness, can be such a powerful shift.
Mindfulness isn’t about zoning out or pretending everything’s fine. It’s about learning to stay with yourself as you are, without rushing to change the experience.
Which might sound counterintuitive. But it can sound like this:
“I’m feeling anxious. That’s OK. I don’t need to fix it right now. I can just notice it and breathe with it.” You can even take it a step further and say “Ahhh anxiety…welcome my old friend.”
Let it be there with you in that space, don’t fight it, welcome it. And in that pause… something begins to soften. Your body and mind stop fighting it, your full attention is not solely focused on your anxiety. Now there is room for more. There is room for decisions, for observations, and for engaging in your life DESPITE the anxiety.
Here’s a practice to try the next time anxiety shows up:
The “Notice Without Fixing” Practice
- Sit somewhere quiet for 1–2 minutes.
- Close your eyes or soften your gaze.
- When you notice anxious thoughts or sensations, just say:
“That’s anxiety. It’s here. And I’m still OK.” “Welcome anxiety, my old friend.” “Here it is again, I know this feeling. I am safe.” - Put a hand over your heart or belly. Breathe slowly. Nothing to solve just being with what is.
The goal here isn’t to feel instantly better. The goal is to teach your body that it doesn’t have to fight itself. That anxiety is allowed. That you are allowed. Imagine anxiety as little buzzing gnats just flying around you. They won’t hurt you, they are annoying, yes, but when you move they move with you, you can still engage in what you want, they don’t stop you, and eventually sometimes you start to forget all about them.
You don’t have to make your anxiety disappear to live a good life.
You don’t have to constantly manage, control, or perform your way out of it. You can begin to relate to it differently, with less judgment, more softness, and more space.
And if you want help building that kind of relationship with your inner world, stopping the battle, reach out and we would love to support you. Connect with us here.
New? Explore Week 5: When Your Anxiety Is Really About the Past or continue to Week 7: How Community and Connection Ease Anxiety
Check out our online course for more tools and support in managing your anxiety.
